lizardwalk:

Why, yes, if you insist.  Yes I will. 

I will (consensually) eat big dicks and small dicks and thick dicks and thin dicks and boy dicks and girl dicks and nonbinary dicks and prosthetic dicks and if I one day miraculously become flexible enough my own dick.  I will get precome and lube and jizz in my beard, I will have the taste of dick (or latex-free condom) in the back of my throat.  I will eat dick until I feel ill, and then write Dr Seuss-esque rhymes about it (I will eat a lot of dick/I will eat it til I’m sick).  If Allie Brosh was the God of Cake, I will be the God of Dick.  (Eat ALL the dick!)

But do you know whose dick I will NOT eat, gentleperson?  Whose dick, or other genital configuration, is not ever going to get anywhere near my mouth or any of my other mucous membranes?

Yours.

Because you, sir, madam or other, have just shown yourself to be a festering haemorrhoid on the already-sore arse of the social justice movement(s), and you do not deserve to have your dick eaten, ever, by anyone.

Except possibly a crocodile.

Now go away.  You’re annoying, and I have places to go and dicks to eat.

(Source: indigoferarchived)

1. impromptuonedykedanceparty said: it’s the same damn thing…
2. nerdbyrd reblogged this from impromptuonedykedanceparty and added:

   i’ve heard eat a bag of dicks, and its so deliciously absurd that I don’t know how to analyze it. any opinions?

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    Bwahahahaahahaha! #awesome

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    wow bless this post

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48. happypyrodance reblogged this from whatfreshhellisthis and added:

    the fuck I can’t even this is BRILLIANT

49. otterfuckerz reblogged this from delisubthefemmecub and added:

    Why, yes, if you insist. Yes I will. I will (consensually) eat big dicks and small dicks and thick dicks and thin dicks...

50. villiljos liked this
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