Our lease is up in May. We don’t have a new place lined up yet. Because it’s stupidly hard to find a place to rent that is even remotely handicap accessible, allows a cat, and is cheap as fuck so my sister can afford it by herself when I die. Right. I love worrying about how my sister is going to get by when I die with her lifetime’s worth of student loans to also pay off. I love planning my own death. It’s been nothing but laughs.
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My cousin, who has never written to me before, who is a youth minister, sent me an email wanting to know my beliefs, especially on death, because I decided to finally tell everyone that I’m stopping treatment after this summer. I kind of just want to send him this picture and say “You’ve never given a fuck about me before. You really expect me to think you honestly give a shit? You just have a creepy crush on my sister. Converting me won’t impress her. Probably the opposite.” …Instead I’ll write a polite email about my various beliefs and try to make it clear that I hate organized religion. I just do not have the patience for all the people who are suddenly acting like they ever gave a fuck about me.
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“We are the echo of the future
On the door it says what to do to survive But we were not born to survive Only to live” - W. S. Merwin, from “The River of Bees” (via ekphora)
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“Animals are seemingly unafraid of death—oh, they fear pain, yes, but not death—and when they are dying make no effort to live. Their bodies accept death with a kind of grace. I hope, if I am to die, that it shall be “naturally,” like a field mouse dangling tail-down from the teeth of a cat: patient and accepting.”
- Wild Life by Molly Gloss
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“It is not death but waiting for death that wears one down—and the prospect of dying alone—and the dread of what one may become.”
- Wild Life by Molly Gloss
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“What’s foolish is spending your whole life being scared of death.
… People who fear death - Lord Beel does, I guess - live no longer than those who don’t, and live scared. I’d rather be the kind of knight I am - a knight who has nothing - than live like he does, with power and money that can never be enough.” - The Knight by Gene Wolfe
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“It is human life. We are blown upon the world; we float buoyantly upon the summer air a little while, complacently showing off our grace of form and our dainty iridescent colors; then we vanish with a little puff, leaving nothing behind but a memory—and sometimes not even that…”
- Mark Twain (via awritersruminations)
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“It seemed a poor swap to find that the only way one might keep from fearing death was to act numb and set apart as if dead already, with nothing much left of yourself but a hut of bones.”
- Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier
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Awkward, quiet and often snarky, this young female likes coffee in her sugar and cream, cats, reading, and making fun of tragedies. She's a mess waiting to happen, so gift her to any relatives you don't particularly like.
theme by Robin Wragg
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